It was my birthday yesterday; 51 years behind, 49 ahead. Feeling good in and under my skin.
One should count life by smiles, not by tears. Count age by friends, not by years. A birthday is a time to reflect on the life gone by, but also to set goals for the future.
When I look behind, I see first my children. Its been a joyful rocky road, full with love and pride. Surely made my share of mistakes as a parent, but its been and is the best part of my life, best part of me. My first born will turn 18 this year.
Second I would bring up my mother and friends. <3
Sometimes you actually notice how many good friends you have, when you most need them; even behind your back. I have felt loved and been supported, specially when I have been absolutely broken inside and out. They have kept me breathing, smiling, doing, healing back to life. Life has been a lesson. I hope I don’t need to learn that hard anymore. But I have survived. It didn’t make me stronger, but make no mistake; I’m a fighter.
It’s not what we have in life, but who we have in our life that matters.
My work. I love to work. My work is a big part of me, I’m a part of my work. I do it with all my heart and its been all ready a life long journey. My companies turn 25 years today. I have worked so hard, I have succeeded and I can be proud of myself.
I have always said: ”I have 2 hands; with one I help me, with the second I help others.”
Even at work the best success is always shared.
Talking about love life. Here I could use the monkey emoji keeping hands in front of the eyes. My heart has loved, been in pieces, its been blind and fooled. My brain has played tricks, but my intuition was always right. Intuition is a super power, it tells everything one needs to know and google tells the rest.
I have spent hours reading everything I can find. I have questioned my self. I’ve been in support groups reading what other people have felt, gone threw. I had so many questions with no answers. What I found out, what I lived threw, its the same story behind, no matter how old, what nationality or success there is behind. Be careful who you give your heart to, not everyone can or will love you back.
Learn how to break the pattern, not to repeat the same mistakes. One knows the truth from how it feels. Red flags don’t turn pink, no matter how in love one would be.
It’s a voice that doesn’t use words. Listen. Inhale the future, exhale the past. I feel already like smiling. 
There is nothing better than living a happy life. A life where one can be authentic, where one can be free when taken, have boundaries, give and get care, be valued as a person not a thing, be genuinely loved and love, get and give empathy, trust and honesty.
Thank you for all the ”happy birthday” wishes. There is nothing better than happy and hopefully there will come one day also the happily ever after. I’ve still got the 49 years to 100.
<3, Tua
Aurinkolasit; Moncler / SYNSAM
Asu: NEWLAND
Kuvat: Pinja Palmunen